Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Real Not So Slim Shady

I have tried the flowery, nice, life is perfect blog posts. I tried to make posts that would inspire, make people like me and hopefully buy things in my Etsy shop. That's not me. I'm not nice, most of the time. I am crafty, but my crafting involves profanity and sometimes things get broken. My life, like most peoples, is very far from perfect. This is why I never post anything. It's extremely hard for me to get all Martha Stewarty. So you're going to get the real life Martha Stewart, disgruntled, angry and greedy. Well, maybe I'm not that bad.
So this is me and my real life. If you don't like it feel free to post your angry comments I always love a good fight and I might just stalk you. :)

Who am I? I am Angelica Lynne Ross. I am 33, argh. I live with my parents, yep I live with my parents. My fiancee (or whatever I decide our relationship is at the time) lives in a barn made into an apartment because my parents won't let him live here. We have been building a geodesic dome for over 5 years, yes 5 years. It was my idea, I guess it was a bad one. I guess I should have agreed to live in a crappy old trailer at least I'd have a house. So I'm stuck living with my parents, who might just be crazier than I am, in a messy house with 2 of my cats, my mother's cat and my dog. My other cat lives with Adam (the fiancee, boyfriend, life partner, pain in my ass). I am a gardener, yes it is a profession. For some reason everyone thinks I clean houses or I don't work at all. I just drive around with weeds and tools in a rack in my crappy truck for the fun of it.

Another important thing to know about me, I don't like children. Really I don't, at all, they make my skin crawl. I love animals. Animals can do whatever they want in my house. Children are not welcome. Yes, that sounds very mean I know.

I like to be alone. I'm an only child. I've led a sheltered life. I have a few friends. I do like to cause hate and discontent with my best bud Ashley B. I have issues, but at least I admit it.

Ok, now we have all of that out of the way I will try to post something interesting, amusing and maybe you all can learn from my mistakes.


Ashley B. said...

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

The Smiling Frog said...

Actually you have and thank you and I love you. :)

Cate said...

What is wrong with me!!! How did I not know you had a blog!
Love all the pictures. Have a great 4th July, I'll be back soon!

The Smiling Frog said...

A lot of people don't know I have a blog because I never post anything. :)

The Smiling Frog said...

Oh and hope you have a great 4th too Cate!

Mack said...

Slim Shady to the Rescue!!
My mom told me to type that, but she says you are too young to prolly remember that!
And I don't like kids either. Except for snacking purposes.

Thank you for coming to my bloggy and helping Shelby.

Sarah said...

HA! Ok...Even though you hate kids...Well, I used to hate kids too so I'll let it slide...this is your best blog post EVER!

The Smiling Frog said...

Ha! Well thank you. I have to say there are a few children I do like. I do enjoy handing them back to their parents though! I know things change if you have your own.